Further to Fall
by watchxxthexsky
Summary: But now, being with her, this other woman - he’s officially made her into the other woman, and he does hate himself for it - he can’t imagine that anything else has ever felt this perfect. Brooke-centric, Brooke/Nathan. Hints of LP, and BP/NP friendship.
1. Lose Some Time

Whatever I start stories when I shouldn't, but this one was literally itching to get out. I've never done anything but LP romance, so doing an all out Brooke and Nathan fic is uncharted waters. I'm definitely nervous for the feedback. I love Nathan and Haley, and Haley in general, but this fic… might not represent that. I just needed to try something new. There will be slight LP. And heavy BP friendship.

AL - You're my partner (not lover) now and forever. Don't you ever try and claim you're not. You help me all the time. MW - you know what you do. Songs, ranting, bouncing ideas off of you. I love you both.

And here we go…

* * *

_And when that light shines on you  
You know it soothes my soul  
Finding time to lose with you  
Is water in the dust bowl_

The first time they'd ever been together, it had been a tangled mess of limbs, drunken murmurs, and fast, quick thrusts. There were no lingering touches, or sensual kisses on the neck - no longing gazes or sweet movements.

But this time - this second time they've joined as one - it's all that and more. He stops to press his lips softly into hers, while moving steadily above her. She runs her fingers delicately, then roughly in transition, over the hard muscles rippling beneath his back. Their legs are entangled, and breathy moans are escaping her mouth, as his breathing is staccato, accentuated by a grunt here and there.

At one point, his movements completely halt - and her heart freezes in fear, his mind can't change right now, they can't quit, she's too far gone - but that emotion is squelched as he leans down to interlock their lips. A slow and sensual kiss, his tongue lightly pressing into hers. She opens her eyes as he pulls away, and for a moment she wonders when the boy she'd known her whole life, had become this strong, grown up _man. _

Her subconscious reminds her that a _man_, doesn't cheat. She locks her eyes shut, and fights the lingering guilt.

He stops to gaze down at the brunette beauty and he recalls a time when she was strong willed and independent. She never needed anyone to lean on. He wonders when she became so vulnerable and withdrawn - but his heart soars when he remembers that he's the one helping to put the pieces of her back together.

His subconscious reminds him that he's not free to do that for her. He shouldn't be the man that comforts her. And certainly not like this. He locks his eyes shut and buries his face into the place where her neck and shoulder meet, burying the guilt along with the gesture.

His hands entwine with hers to bring their fingers to rest above their heads. His movements are slow, but still powerful; her body is shaking, and she wants desperately to bring her hands back down and grip onto something, anything - preferably him - but the position she's been put in is too damn sexy, and she finds that her mouth won't open on it's own volition.

Instead of reacting with words, her body does the talking - she propels her hips forward unexpectedly, matching his thrusts. He's momentarily thrown off, and his head lolls back, trying to gain some sense of structure, but she's just thrown his whole body into a frenzy; every nerve ending is lit on fire. Receiving the response she was looking for, she keeps the pace going, meeting him thrust for thrust, causing them both to bite their lips in pure unadulterated pleasure.

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't had her fair share of sex. Good sex, at that. But with him, it goes beyond that - anything she's ever felt. He anticipates what she wants and needs without ever having to hear the words; even better, he anticipates what she wants, but keeps her hanging on the edge - he teases her senses, and when she's about ready to scream in agony, he takes the plunge, and the scream comes out as one of intense, heady, bliss. They fit together in a way they hadn't been able to recognize that first time. It's shocking, but really… it isn't.

When he was younger, he'd gotten around. It was something he used to be proud of in his naïve days, but as he got older he realized how foolish he'd been. However, it helped to make him into the lover he was today, and to be able to be with this amazing woman writhing beneath him. He's slept with the same woman since he was 17, though - as much as he's pushing her to the back of his mind at this moment - and he never imagined he'd ever be with another woman. But now, being with her, this other woman - he's officially made her into the other woman, and he does hate himself for it - he can't imagine that anything else has ever felt this perfect. His heart hammers in his chest at this revelation.

"I can't hold out much longer," she whimpers, her voice as raspy as ever in the dark room.

He places a kiss to her jaw, and then leans up and over her to press one on her forehead. "Then don't. Let it go. Let go, baby."

She places a lone finger under his chin and tilts it so that their eyes are piercing into each other. "I don't want this to end."

His heart clenches and he wants to make a thousand different promises - this is only the the beginning, it will never end, you and I could never have an end. But he knows he can't, he wants to - but on top of being a cheater, he'd be a liar. He can't handle one more indiscretion.

She recognizes the emotions playing on his face, and she knows he can't make any promises. If she's honest with herself, neither can she.

So he says nothing, and she nods her head in acceptance. He sweeps down for one last kiss, before he feels himself falling over the edge.

"Oh God… Brooke," he murmurs into her ear, not able to hold himself back.

She lets out a soft cry of "Nathan," before she falls over the inevitable cliff, nails digging into his shoulders, unable to contain herself.

Once their names are spoken, it's like the spell that's been cast over them has broken. After their breathing has regained a semblance of normalcy and they've ridden out the pleasurable waves, she awkwardly pushes against his chest, signaling for him to move. As soon as he's left her body, she feels empty once more.

Not feeling her body underneath his finds him torn between crying for the loss of her - and crying for the loss of the life he once knew.

Brooke Davis has just slept with one of her best friend's husband.

Nathan Scott has just cheated on his wife with one of her best friends.

In this moment in time, neither can remember a time in their lives when they've felt so lost - but yet somehow, entirely found.

_Your kisses are so sweet and slow  
It feels alright as long as nobody knows_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


	2. This is Your Life

Wow, the response has been overwhelming, guys. Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, you have no idea how much that warms my heart. Some of you had concerns about Brooke/Haley… well, that will all be revealed in time. And I know a lot of BL fans out there are reading this, and that makes me smile so big, but the LP is here to stay, hopefully I can write it in a way in which you still enjoy the story!

While I am still nervous about it, this has quickly become my baby, and I can't wait to get all the ideas I have for it out there. I am so sorry it took me so long - I was very uninspired for a while, then school, work, blah. I'm super sick right now, so I have nothing else to do but write. And all the amazing BN scenes we've been graced with lately, have surely helped. L o v e.

Now, this all begins after 6.04. I'm working my way from the beginning, to what I showed in the first chapter. Any questions, feel free to ask if they're not answered within the fic!

* * *

_**5 Months Ago**_

_This is your life  
And today is all you've got now  
And today is all you've ever had  
Don't close your eyes_

"Okay Brooke, one foot in front of the other, you know how to do this, you've been doing it since you were 2," the petite brunette whispered to herself.

She turned her head and followed the bath of the yellow cab with her eyes. Once she moved back around to look up at the looming beach house, she couldn't will herself to go inside. She was home; and when she'd been in New York earlier, all she'd longed for was the comfort of her home and a Victoria-free environment.

"_What do you want me to say Brooke? That I was a failure as a mother? You got everything you wanted."_

No matter what she did, that woman had given birth to her, and as much as she hated her, it still put a scar on her soul that she was never and would never be accepted as a daughter. Brooke nearly sprinted up the path to her house, unlocked the door and haphazardly threw her one piece of luggage in, locking the door back on her way out.

She couldn't be alone with her thoughts in big, empty house.

So she walked - because she figured being outside, alone in her thoughts, was _so_ much better. Halfway through her walk, somewhere between the river court and main street, she was brought to a halt. It hadn't struck her until just now that she was walking alone. In the dark. At night. Alone. The one word that kept striking her thoughts. Suddenly a light breeze came through, but it sent a chill up her spine, causing her arms to wrap around herself. She kept walking, thoughts askew - Victoria, the attack, her friends, her company - until she heard the faintest of footsteps. She paused for a moment, and heard the steps advancing, causing a stab of fear within her. As if on cue, she heard her name being called.

She turned around at a snail's pace, almost afraid to see who was there, but a sigh of relief worked itself out of her mouth at the realization that it was Nathan. As he approached her, she hit him in the center of his chest.

"You scared the hell out of me!"

He held his hands up, a smirk on his face. "I'm sorry, Brooke. I just saw you walking, and thought you could use some company - it's awfully late for you to be out on the rough streets of Tree Hill isn't it?"

Brooke couldn't help but bow her head and laugh at that. "It is pretty rough in the Hill, huh?"

"Yeah," he took in her appearance between speaking. "So, what's got you wandering out this late? You looked pretty deep in thought."

"Oh nothing… everything. I don't know. What are you doing out so late, you've got a wife and kid to go home to," she pointed out.

"I couldn't sleep. Thinking about Dan, Quentin… my mom and Skills. Shooting around always helps." He points to the ball resting underneath his arm.

"Oh my God, in the midst of everything, I completely forgot about that," she burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching her side.

Nathan smiled wryly and nodded. "Yeah, laugh it up. Thank you, very much."

She put a hand on his arm, still chuckling. "Seriously, are you okay with that?"

"I wasn't… I don't think I really am now, but they make each other happy as whacked as that sounds, and I can't stand in the way of… love," he spit out, "so I guess I have to be."

Brooke nods at him, and they stand in silence. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

Feigning ignorance, she replies "Talk about what?"

"The darkness. This thing that's been consuming you. The whole point of our conversation the other day. Are you ready to talk about it?"

"_I felt nothing, I just felt cold. And I realized I'm turning into the one person I do not want to become - I'm turning into you."_

And so, not wanting to feel like the cold, devoid of emotion person she was slipping into before that trip, she started telling Nathan everything… almost everything; no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get herself to speak of the attack. It wasn't something she was willing to divulge to anyone else yet.

_This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed  
that it would be when the world was younger,  
and you had everything to lose? _

"We're here," his words echoed quietly throughout the car.

Brooke had her forehead pressed into the cool glass of the window, looking into the night, but not seeing. Even when she feels his hand encompassing her shoulder, she looks at him, be he swears her gaze is going right through him. An involuntary shiver traces through him, and he tries to squelch it before she notices. What happened to his friend to make her so distant and cold. He'd never known her to be like this, and it frightened him; made him want to help her through whatever struggles she was experiencing.

Brooke nodded and set her lips in a straight line. "I guess I should get in there."

Nathan sighed, simultaneously running a hand over his head. "I don't want you to feel like you're being forced into telling her. But I think you need to Brooke. She's your best friend, she'll be there for you in a way you really need right now. She loves you, she's your family."

Brooke shrugged, but felt her chest tighten, almost constricting her breathing. "Thanks Nate," she mumbled quietly.

Brooke opened the door to her car, but felt his hand curling around her upper arm, unknowingly in the same place where bruises covered the flesh. The cry that begged to be let from her throat was there, just waiting… but she held back, desperately not wanting him to see her in pain.

"Brooke, we're your family too - Haley, Jamie, Lucas, me. We're all here for you. I want to be here for you, help you through it - but you need to tell Peyton first. She's your sister. There's nothing you can tell her that will make her love you any less."

Before she knew it, her arms were wrapping around his neck. "Thank you."

And with that, she rushed out of the car, and with one last final wave, slammed the door and trudged up the walk of Lucas's house.

For a moment, while she stood at the front door of the house, she contemplated running back to Nathan's car and having him take her home. She loved Peyton, and wanted to tell her, but there was a gnawing feeling in her gut.

"_If I couldn't have my dream, your father couldn't have his either. I probably took it out a little too much on you along the way. But you know what, you should be thanking me for giving you life… do you understand that?"_

Before she could back out, and before she even physically realized what she was doing, she heard the chime of the doorbell resounding through the house, and was almost shocked to see it was her finger that had initiated the sound.

The door opened almost immediately, revealing Peyton dressed for bed, shock written across her face at seeing her best friend this late.

"Did I wake you?" Brooke questioned quietly.

"No, honey you didn't wake me - what are you doing here? It's…" she checked the clock, "half past 12. Is everything okay?"

"Where' Lucas, I don't want to wake him."

Peyton shook her head and ushered her best friend into the warmth of the house. "Luke's been writing, actually. He's zoned out, nothing will bother him, trust me. Now… are you _okay_?"

Brooke shook her head and drew in a shaky breath. "No, everything is not okay. I need to tell you something P. Sawyer."

"_I'm calling the lawyers tomorrow, and I'm divesting my interest in Clothes over Bro's. The magazine, the line… you can have everything. Congratulations Victoria. Now you have a company and no daughter. You have your dream."_

Peyton wrapped her arms around her best friend, and pulled her to the couch. "What's going on, Brooke? You've been scaring me lately…"

Brooke nestled into Peyton's loving embrace, trying to will the past few weeks away; the attack, the numerous encounters with her mother, that poor boy Quentin's death, all of it. She tried to go back to the days when her and Peyton were just kids, and would lay on the floor of Peyton's bedroom all night, whispering secrets and giggling so loudly that eventually Anna would come in to tell them to knock it off, inevitably joining in on the fun and laughter, until Larry finally came to put an end to it.

Surely Peyton missed the memory of her mother more than Brooke ever could; but even at such a young age, Brooke had felt the inner turmoil of her family, and the absence of a mother and father. Anna and Larry had been her only parental figures, and they loved her as if she were their own. She longed to have those days back for Peyton… and selfishly, for herself.

"Peyton, I've been wanting to tell you… I didn't know how to say, I mean, I'm so lost, P. Sawyer…" she trailed off, the lump in her throat taking over any further thought.

Peyton rubbed her back, and kissed the top of her head. "Come on, B. Davis, you know you can tell me - what is it?"

Brooke sat up a little and looked into the warm eyes of her best friend. Even behind the intense worry she could see for herself, Brooke knew those eyes hadn't shone that brightly in so long; that happy gleam was absent for so long, Brooke couldn't bear to be the one taking it away. And if she told her best friend the truth, all Peyton would be focused on would be the attack, and getting Brooke to go to the police, and… revenge. She couldn't do that to her.

And that's when she decided to tell the half-truth. Brooke made it a rule to never lie to Peyton, but so many things in her life had broken lately, she figured one more seemed appropriate.

"I gave up the company to Victoria. I no longer own Clothes Over Bros," and with that, Brooke let herself break down for the second time, sobs wracking her body, as Peyton held her, rocking her back and forth trying to provide some comfort.

_Yesterday is a kid in the corner  
Yesterday is dead and over_

"I'm coming!" Nathan yelled at the incessant knocking coming from the front door of his home.

When he opened the door, there stood Brooke Davis, looking brighter and healthier than he'd seen in days. "Impatient much?" he teased.

He was shocked even when she let out a small laugh. "I just wanted to stop by to say… thank you."

Nathan ushered her into the house, and led them toward the kitchen. "There's no need for thanks, Brooke. I'm your friend, and I always will be. Making sure you're okay, and being there for you is in the job description," he smiled cheekily.

Brooke smirked and rolled her eyes slightly. She hesitated before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his middle. "You're making this all seem a little better. Just being a friend and caring. Knowing that you can empathize with my situation… it's good to have someone like you around, Scott."

Nathan squeezed her tightly before letting go, and moving her back at arm's length, still holding her shoulders, "You're gonna be okay, Davis."

Brooke nodded and for the first time in a long time, started to believe it herself. Before she could speak, a sweet little boy ran into the room, yelling out for her.

"Aunt Brooke!"

Brooke turned and caught her godson before he even asked to be lifted. "Hey little man, how's my favorite Scott doing today?"

Nathan gasped in mock surprise. "And here I thought I was your favorite Scott, I mean, you have known me longer."

Brooke and Jamie both gave him the same look. "No way. Jamie, Haley, Lucas, then you," Brooke snorted.

Jamie giggled and nodded. "Sorry daddy, you're last on the list."

Nathan moved around the island menacingly towards his son, "Oh is that right?"

Brooke leaned down to whisper in the younger Scott's ear, before setting him down, and watching the blonde boy dart off to the living room, squealing with laughter, a shout of 'yes!' filling the house. Brooke set off in the other direction, laughing herself at the lightness of today, thankful for once that darkness was not cloaking her demeanor.

Nathan caught up to his son, tickling the little boy senseless, causing Jamie to howl with laughter, calling out to his aunt for assistance. Once Brooke had caught up to them, she playfully tried taking him into her arms.

"I've got you Jamie," Brooke choked out between laughs, taking him into her arms. She let him down and the both backed up at the advancing Nathan. Brooke stood in front of the blonde boy, and Nathan, with a gleam in his eye, advanced on her, digging his fingers into her sides, causing her to snort with laughter.

"Daddy! Leave Aunt Brooke alone!" Jamie yelped with a smile on his face, trying to pry his father's fingers from his favorite person.

Nathan backed away, breathless but happy - happy that his son was smiling, and happy that Brooke seemed, at least in this moment, that she was no longer carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Okay you two, let's settle down, hmm?"

Brooke stomped her foot indignantly. "You started this, Scott!"

He waved his hand in the hair, chuckling. "Yeah, yeah. Would you like some breakfast, Davis?"

Brooke walked into the kitchen and took a seat. "What are we having?"

Jamie joined her at the table, smiling up at her. Brooke ruffled his hair, and kissed the side of his head. Nathan smiled at the scene and went about getting the pair some food.

For today, Brooke decided, she would let it all go, and have breakfast with two of her favorite men.

_This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, are you who you want to be?_

* * *

I originally planned for Brooke to tell Peyton this chapter, but I think I might drag that out… I need a little something more; I basically have this story outlined, I just need to fill in the blanks. So far, I have 10 chapters planned out, and there's so much more to cover still, so this might be a long ride!

Let me know what you think!


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